A hockey fan in the Nation.

I know I’ve been neglecting this blog and every season I make the resolution that I’m going to keep it up, and since have not, but maybe, just maybe I’ll get consistent with writing every hockey whim again.  I like writing, and I should write about hockey more, considering, you know, it’s what I want to do later.  You know, might be a good idea.

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while, mainly because I’m weird.  I don’t know what most hockey fans do after the second week of June, or the first day of July, but for me, the summer is way too long to not care about any sports ever.

That, and I kind of live in a special place in the sports world.

In the winter, I live in Buffalo, a hockey hub that is a fantastic place for a hockey nut to live.  I love Buffalo, and I love how Buffalo loves the Sabres.  But…when the summer comes, I often question what there is, you know, outside of hockey when it’s still -3 outside.

And that’s why it’s awesome that my summer home is right in the middle of New England, where we have the New England Sports Network, that plays one thing, and one thing only as soon as April hits.

Red Sox Baseball.

Now I’m an interesting character in the fact that I love one of the most exciting and violent games in the world…and…one of the most boring.  Let’s be honest, one of Baseball’s charms to me is that it’s really easy to follow.  I can do other stuff as I watch a Sox game.  I only really have to look at the TV every 30 seconds and I don’t miss much.

That doesn’t mean I do other things, I’m saying I can.  One of the great things about watching a game with me, is that the amusement people get when I watch a hockey game, doesn’t go away, it just becomes a lot more absurd.  I take the intensity of watching hockey to a 3 hour baseball game.  And go figure, cause you can’t be intense about baseball, or anything, for that long.

It’s funny because in particular, that no one really sees me watch baseball, or give a damn about baseball.  Dad commented yesterday with an impressed tone “You’re really getting into baseball huh?”  Not getting into, I like baseball, because I get weirdly excited about it!

For example, we know I love nicknames, and sometimes, players have AWESOME nicknames.  Like Dustin Pedroia.  I will NEVER bore of screaming “CHARGIN MY LAZAHHHH” when Dustin “Lazer Show” Pedroia walks up tot he plate.  No I’m serious, that’s his nickname.  The tiniest fucking player on the team, and he’s got the nickname Lazer Show.  It’s AWESOME.

You have the standard “Big Papi” for David Ortiz, and either Cap’t or ‘Tek for Jason Varitek…but then you can have fun with it.  Like when I heard Kevin Youkilis is teased by teammates and gets “Jelly” written under his initials on his bat.  Yes…someone realized that they can start playing on poor old Youk by calling him a sexual lubricant.  And I jumped right on that gravy train.  Now, if I’m home and watching my favorite bald headed slugger coming out of the dugout, I no longer howl a low “yooouuuuukkkk”  but instead shriek a much more amusing “JELLLAAAYYYYYYYY.”

And my indomitable enthusiasm for this team, is what makes it fun for me and fun for other people.  Boston fans wonder why I’m so weird, but find a little girl loving a team endearing.   And I’m pretty sure people in general just like seeing a girl get into sports.

Yankees fans simply wonder how anyone could be enthusiastic about the sox, and just look on with amusement (and potentially a little fear, because people quickly realize that if anyone will be killing anyone after a loss, it’s probably the insane chick screaming obscenities at a screen.)

And the obscenities.  Does anyone in this universe hate Jarrod “I cant throw a fucking baseball and I’m useless” Saltalamacchia than me?  No?  Good.  If you wanna watch some chick scream a slew of death threats at a catcher, watch a game with me.  I want the man run over by a slow moving vespa (only because, the more I threaten him, the more likely he is, by the grace of god, hit something…and score a run for us.  I’m 3 for 3 with Saltalafuckyou hitting it out of the park when I threaten his life to some denomination.) (Yes, I really have an do call him Saltalafuckyou.)

I watch almost every game and every inning, and the obscenities always fly, and that’s why baseball is awesome for my offseason.  It keeps me honest, and, frankly, if I’m not a Sabres fan barking at Ottawa fans, why not be a Sox fan, barking at Yankees fans?

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