IN THIS CORNER….A Look at KovalGate 2010

I’m not going  to lie and say  I haven’t put this off for a bit…I have, but the battle Royal in the NHL has to be talked about at some point.

[Announcer]

IN THIS CORNER…WEIGHING IN AT A VERY LARGE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT, YOUR PLAYOFF MAKING, LOSING IN THE FIRST ROUND TO THE PHILADELPHIA FLYERS…

THE NEW JERSEY DEVILS! *cheers*

AND IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN SLIGHTLY LESS…THEY ARE THE BIG, THE BAD, YOUR FAVORITE SPORTS LEAGUE…

THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE *cheers*

Brick: Nice to see you Chet

Chet: Happy to be here Brick.

Brick: So what we’re looking here are two really strong contenders.  The New Jersey Devils prove to be a real heavyweight among the members of the league these days, known for strong defense and quick feet to keep the punches off of them, they bring here a true charm from Russia in their Ilya Kovalchuck Combo.  The NHL should look out when that’s coming their way, it’s a powerful asset to the Devil’s strategy.  By toting this 90 point powerhouse, they’re looking to really take a chunk out of the competition.

Chet: Right you are Brick, but let’s look at the NHL for a moment.  To combat the Kovy Combo they’ve got a really oppressive defensive move to keep him from having his way in the ring.  In a surprise move, the NHL can and will bring out the Collective Bargaining Agreement powerhouse move.  The CBA can effectively nullify anything that the New Jersey Devils throw at them.  Also one thing to note is the coach for the NHL, Gary Bettman, standing just over…oops, I’m sorry, you can’t see him, appears he’s shorter than the height of the ring.

Brick:  haha, don’t worry about that Chet, we all know who Big Pockets Bettman is.

Chet: Alright.  Well I’d just like to mention how cutthroat he is in the rink.  Bettman will pressure the league use the CBA at any way it can to wear out the NHL’s opponents and have the Devils tap out.  It’s really a dominating strangle hold of a move.

Brick:  That it is Chet, and it’s good to point out that Bettman will often have the NHL alter the move a little bit to always have the opposition on their toes.  But without further adieu, let’s get underway in this Battle Royal, Jersey Devils against the National Hockey League.  The fight will start after a quick message from our sponsors.

I LOVE CHEESY POOFS YOU LOVE CHEESY POOFS IF WE DIDN’T EAT CHEESY POOFS WE’D BE GAY.

[Announcer] LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLEEE!

Brick: Welcome back, and we’re underway.  The Jersey Devils are really ready to go.  The Devils, while not normally known for making the first move, seem to have taken some advice from Team USA and Canada, and have loaded their fighting moves with traditional offensive matches as the Langenbrunner and Parise…with defensive blocks from the Brodeur.  But Here, they come right out and ready to dance!  This is gonna be an exciting fight folks!

The NHL starts with some free-agency combos, but the Devils are ready.  They Block with a Vochenkov and Oh did you see that Chet?!

Chet: Sure did Brick.  That was a classic example of a Contract with a block.  It’s a charging blow that can minimize the force of a punch, and make the block even more effective.  And if you add that onto a combo like a Kovalchuck?  Oh boy…

Brick: The NHL recovers quickly and oh, another free agency blow!  Jersey is shaken, but not stirred, this is what we’re used to out of this fighter, an easy, defensive start before they pounce.  And we see that Contract move AGAIN with another Henrick Talinder block!

Chet: This isn’t anything new, Brick.  To see a team that loves to use the contract add on will often warm up with a few simple blocks before really getting in to using it in an offensive move.  It’s really a difficult move to master and balance, so you need to warm up and start using it early before you try and take a heavier blow with it.

Brick:  Do you think that they might try to make an easy meal of the NHL and use it with the Kovy Combo?

Chet: watching how the Devs are playing with a lot of blocks, it looks like they’re going to try and use it with a finishing blow while the NHL is confused and tired.  Usually a fighter with the cap to use a contract will warm up just like this and hang on…see what opens to them.

Brick: Saving your energy.  The NHL isn’t really playing as varied a game as the Devils, oh, but they’re getting power from other teams.

Chet: you see the Board of Commissioners around Gary Bettman ring-side.  This is what Bettman uses as a sort of Assistant Coaching spread, and it really pays off for a great fighter like the League.  They are the ones who know how to manipulate a big move, the NHLPA that is very unwieldy.  But really, Bettman promotes a simple game from the NHL.

Brick: And the Devils are starting to look a bit restless.

Chet: you can see the Kovy Combo starting to come out.

Brick: Yes it is!  Ladies and Gentlemen, Pay witness to one of maybe the hardest moves to complete, with competition from Los Angeles to be the first to complete this, you can really see how special that a completion a Ilya Kovalchuck Contract combination would be game changing in the history of the sport.

Chet: Last year, we saw Atlanta attempt this move and fall short…The Devils actually bought rights to train with this move from the southern fighter.

Brick: And Bettman is calling a time out.  The fighters go to their respective corners and talk to their coaches.  We’ll return to this Battle of the Century, with another short message from our sponsors.

JOIN THE RCMP. GET A POODLE. GO MOUNTIES

Brick: Welcome back!  And the action is already heated up!  The Jersey Devils start right where they left off, going at the NHL with the Contract Kovy Combo!

Chet: now remember, this is a very long and complex move, at any time can the NHL try to interrupt it and spoil this for the Jersey Devils.

Brick: And that seems to be what they’re doing!  The NHL is actually using the CBA.  However, the combo continues.  The contract goes, still fighting, avoiding any jarring blows until the NHL actually Flips the Devils out of the Ring!  The fight is stopped, and coaches are screaming.  Fans are throwing food from the stands!

Chet: The NHL is trying to call a disqualification to the Ilya Kovalchuck Contract!  Gary Bettman is standing on the edge of the ring, Saying that the Devils circumvented the CBA by leaving the rink.

Brick: This could be very bad for the Devils.

Chet: What the problem seems to be is that the Devils were flipped out of the ring only by the actions of the CBA.  They broke no rules while inside the ring!

Brick: Looks like they’re calling additional eyes from more refs to decide on this matter.  This is a history-making fight.  It’s not ending soon.  Until Next time, I’m Brick Heafty

Chet: And I’m Chet Later.

Yeah…that’s  pretty much what’s going on.  Blog post when this all settles down!

-PJ

Advertisement